


Whiskey Lullaby

by loveinanotherdimension



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - World War II, Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveinanotherdimension/pseuds/loveinanotherdimension
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi is a corporal in the army & a good friend of Grisha. Levi and Grisha's son, Eren, soon get acquainted, and Eren takes a liking to Levi.<br/>It's just too bad that a war comes to their world too soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whiskey Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> based on the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss! also available on tumblr here: http://tinybitterasian.tumblr.com/post/107211884555/eren-levi-whiskey-lullaby i hope you like this! (:

A gentle knock sounded on the wooden door, and Eren watched as his father hurriedly put his cup of hot coffee aside to answer it. Eren’s eyes lit up when he realised what this meant, and he smiled widely.

“He’s here!” Eren exclaimed, standing up and brushing off the dust on his pants. He knew how much the corporal hated dirt, so he pinched at a piece of dried oatmeal on his shirt and put it back in his empty bowl.

“Corporal Levi,” Grisha greeted, smiling. “Welcome back. How was your mission?”

“It went well,” Levi replied, nodding. “Thank you for asking.” He lowered his gaze to catch Eren’s, noticing the empty bowl on the table and Eren wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “I’m sorry, did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Not at all. We just finished breakfast.” Grisha said. “Please stay for lunch if you can; Eren’s been waiting to see you all month.”

“Oh?” Levi said, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He walked towards Eren and kneeled down, taking the thirteen-year-old’s hands in his. “Have you?”

Eren nodded, green eyes sparkling in anticipation. He bit his lip and stared at Levi, waiting for him to speak.

“Do you want to go out to the fields again?” Levi asked gently, his mouth quirking up at one corner when Eren gasped and nodded vigorously.

“May I?” Levi looked up to Grisha, still holding onto Eren’s hands, and Grisha laughed.

“You don’t have to ask, Levi.” Grisha said. “We’re your family now.”

Levi’s hold on Eren tightened briefly before he nodded once. “Well then,” he looked back at Eren, who was looking at him quizzically. “Shall we?”

“Let me get my sandals first, Mr. Levi!” Eren shouted, and loosed his hands from Levi’s. He ran into his room to put on his sandals, and Levi watched on fondly.

Grisha walked to him and pat him on his back.

“He admires you very much,” Grisha said, “You’re a hero to him.”

“I’m no hero,” Levi replied, “What stories have you been telling him about me?”

“None but the truth, my friend,” Grisha laughed. “Still, he finds you very admirable.”

“He does, does he?” Levi shoved his hands in his pockets and waited for Eren to come out with his sandals on.

When Eren finally came out, Levi took Eren’s hand and bid goodbye to Grisha and Carla as they left, thinking about what Grisha said to him.

_Let’s hope he has a reason to._

* * *

Two years later, the Second World War started.

Levi’s visits became sporadic, and when he did visit, he would never forget to tell Eren to stay in his town, where the war was but news on paper.

“You mustn’t travel out from now on.” Levi said to him the last time, “It’s very dangerous, but I promise you that you’ll be safe.”

To Grisha and Carla, he said, “I’ve lost enough family and friends. I can’t afford to lose you three. If danger was ever to come to your town, you’d be the first to know. Until then, do not leave it. Promise me.”

Eren waited longer this time, through the hard winters and summers when he would only hear about the war from his parents and friends. He spent his days attending school, taking part in air raids, and talking to his best friends about the corporal he never saw anymore.

Until that one autumn night.

The knock didn’t come. Instead, a loud thud sounded on the wooden door, and Eren got up to answer it.

“Sorry, but my parents aren’t—” was all he got to say before his unfinished sentence ended in a horrified gasp.

There, in front of him, stood an injured Levi, who was leaning on the door frame for support. He breathed heavily, his entire body heaving as he fought to bring air into his lungs.

“Eren,” he rasped. “I was—on the battlefield, and— Grisha is better than the medics, and I was sent back.” Levi’s eyelids grew heavy and he grabbed onto Eren, trying to make him understand. “They said they couldn’t lose me, but if I’m here, what are my comrades doing? I can’t help them, I can’t leave them to die—”

“My parents aren’t here, they’re at a funeral,” Eren said, heart beating twice as fast as he struggled to get Levi to his room. He laid Levi down on his bed, not caring about the blood that was quickly seeping through his covers, and ripped his shirt open to access his injuries. “I’ll have to treat you myself.”

“Eren—”

“I can’t lose you,” Eren choked, clinging onto his blood-soaked sheets as he quickly thought of how to put Levi back together. “You’re going to be okay. Let me help.”

Eren worked as best and as quickly as he could, but an hour later when he was past his limit, all he could do was cry and hope that his parents would come home.

“Please wait for my parents,” Eren said, blinking his tears away as he held onto Levi’s hand. “They’ll be back soon, and they’ll be able to—you can—”

“Eren,” Levi said, and squeezed his hand. “I’ll be okay. You said so.”

Tears began to flow more freely down Eren’s face as he held onto Levi, and he realised with a sickening clarity that if anything were to happen to Levi, his own life would be a bleak slate. He couldn’t live without this man, and he nearly threw up from thinking about it. He knew that couples of the same sex were never meant to be, and that even if he felt something for Levi, he couldn’t act on it.

“Don’t die,” Eren choked out, and buried his face into the side of his bed. “Don’t die.”

Levi unwound his hand from Eren’s and let it rest on the boy’s head. He patted Eren’s hair softly and smiled at no one. As his eyes slid close from exhaustion, his mind had a jolting thought.

_I’m in love with this boy._

* * *

 

A few months later, Levi was back in the army, fighting again, and Eren was at Armin’s house, talking to him and Mikasa about his feelings towards Levi.

“I don’t know what I feel,” Eren said, playing with his fingers as Armin and Mikasa looked at him from across the table. “But I feel… something. I guess. For him. Towards him.”

“It can’t be done,” Mikasa said, “Eren, I’m sorry, but right now… You can’t do anything with him.”

“I know that,” Eren replied, clasping his hands together. “I know—but I can’t stop the feelings. I’ve tried, and it just made me cry more.”

“Eren…” Armin lowered his eyes and bit his lip.

“You could get killed. I’ve read about it before.” Mikasa said bluntly. “I don’t know what you feel, but if it’s love, then you absolutely can’t act on it, Eren.” Eren looked up at her, his heart aching as he heard her say the words he’d been too afraid to say to himself. “You could _both_ get killed. And I won’t accept that.”

“Mikasa!” Armin hissed, noting how pale Eren got. “Please, he’s been through enough. Look at him.”

“He needs to hear the truth, Armin.” Mikasa said, and closed her eyes. “I’m not letting him get hurt. Especially by those stupid laws.”

Armin sighed and placed a hand over Eren’s, smiling faintly at him.

“We’re here for you,” he whispered, “You can come to us if you need us, you know that, right?”

Eren nodded solemnly and smiled back at Armin, trying not to let his heartbreak show through. However, from Armin’s expression, he knew that he wasn’t doing very well hiding it. He swallowed and looked between the two of them, his two best friends, and understood why they were saying these things. His heart seemed to mend itself when he understood their intentions, and he felt proud to call them his friends.

He smiled for real this time, and gathered up his voice to say the words the two of them needed to hear from him.

“Thank you.”

* * *

 

Two years later was when Eren’s world drowned in black.

“Mama?” Eren yawned. “Is that French toast with fresh fruit? My favourite? Is something wrong? It isn’t my birthday, is it?”

“No, dear,” Carla smiled. “I just thought that we ought to have something nice today.” She looked down at her cooking and her smile disappeared. “That’s all.”

Eren looked at her puzzledly before eating his breakfast. His father, usually in high spirits this early in the morning, was looking shocked and in disbelief as his hands slowly scrunched up the edge of the newspaper he was holding.

“Papa?” Eren asked, “Is something wrong?”

Grisha looked up from the newspaper, his eyes still looking hurt and shocked, but he still smiled at Eren. He put down the newspaper and downed his hot bitter coffee in one gulp.

“It’s alright, Eren. Go to school.”

Eren furrowed his brows. It wasn’t like his parents to keep something from him, so he jumped up and grabbed the newspaper, quickly flipping to the page his father was on.

“Eren!” Carla shouted, abandoning her saucepan to rush to Eren. “Don’t read—”

“He’s dead?” Eren whispered, tears involuntarily flowing down his cheeks as he read the article. “Levi’s dead?”

The entire house fell silent save for the water boiling on the stovetop, and Carla reached for her son. He shook her off, his entire body shaking and trembling as he held the newspaper up accusingly.

“He came by two weeks ago!” Eren screamed hoarsely, everything in his body hurting, his heart feeling as if a cat was scratching and clawing at it, ripping it to shreds. “He told me he was going to be fine! He promised us!”

“Eren,” Grisha said, his own eyes beginning to water up. “No one’s immortal.”

“He said!” Eren yelled, and slammed the ruined newspaper down to the floor. “He—”

Memories of the times he and Levi spent flashed through his mind and he ran out of the door, ignoring his parents’ calls. He ran past Armin’s house, ran past Mikasa’s house, and ran to the cliff Levi had brought him to once a year ago.

_“You know we can’t be together,” Levi had said, and Eren had nodded._

_“That doesn’t mean I don’t feel anything for you.” Eren had responded, and Levi had sighed._

_“I guess so,” he had replied, and the two of them had watched the sun set across the sky together, hands entangling and lips meeting. Eren had laughed into Levi’s face when the corporal had gotten dirt on his pants, and Levi had scoffed up at him._

_“Brat.”_

Eren screamed to the wind and clutched his chest, feeling that it was torn too far apart to be put back together ever again.

He looked over the cliff and sobbed. He stepped closer to the edge and thought about how, even if he lived, he’d have no one to live for.

He took two steps forward –

– and plunged downwards.

* * *

 

_A year and a half ago_

“You’re a brat,” Levi muttered, head on Eren’s chest as they lay on Eren’s bed.

Grisha and Carla were out for the day, and Levi had stayed on while they left, promising to take care of Eren and their home.

“I’m your brat, and you’re shorter than me.” Eren said, laughing when Levi elbowed him softly in the stomach. “You love me.”

Levi swallowed and grabbed Eren’s hand.

“I know,” Levi whispered, and kissed his hand before settling back into his warm chest.

“Sleep, Levi,” Eren said gently. “I’ll be here.”

“Your parents could walk in on us,” Levi retorted.

“They wouldn’t mind,” Eren replied, and Levi had to agree with that.

“Don’t wake me up, Jaeger.” Levi said, and sat up to reposition himself. This time, he faced Eren, and he smiled at Eren’s young face before kissing him lightly on the mouth. “I’ll see you when I wake up.”

“You will,” Eren replied, and watched Levi sleep for a moment before succumbing to sleep himself.

_You’ll see me when you wake up._


End file.
